I had a dream. One day, when I made a decision. When I chose Marcel. In my dream, I was invited to a team by Ethan Hunt. Luther Stickel was behind him, next to me two new starters. We got access to all special spy stuff. Suddenly we were on a mission, in a clothes shop. Someone wanted to shoot us down, but we ducked and survived. Next moment I walked back to the same shop, but someone was next to me. I did not see him, just felt him. He accompanied me. We had no weapons. I went to the shop, and I saw the man, who wanted to shoot us down. I looked into his eyes, very deeply. I saw his fear. He did not do anything, I saw in his eyes, he regretted it. I just let him walk away, and we started shopping.
Marcel, you were my Ethan Hunt, and Triptherapie is my Mission Impossible team! Your's questions, your suggestions/diets/ were my super spy weapons.
I had some heroic dose trips alone before with mushroom, but this was totally different for me. I came with much fear and confusion. I was terrified. I chose LSD session, but we agreed it's better for acceptance (more suitable to my intentions) if we mix it with psilocybin. The aromatherapy and Marcel's calm support during my trip made me so comfortable, and I could allow myself to dig very deeply into my mind and my subconsciousness. I used the eye mask. I wanted to die, feel that power, I wanted to see all darkness that I have. But there was nothing, only light. I realized how can I fix my family patterns, and finally, I could see the love behind the darkness. I had a huge mental conflict, during my trip. But someone appeared from my life in my mind, who is a very stable person, and it helped me out. After this point, I asked my body, please check yourself, is there any problem, or illness? I got an answer, that everything is ok. After this, I put the puzzle together and realized, I have no darkness, I have no fear, and I have nothing the worry about, as I did before. At this point, I started to laugh loudly. It was the deepest laughing in my life. I saw my stomach from the inside, my cells, and my backbone too. All laughed. Suddenly I felt my heart so smoothly, I lost that big rock from my body. After the peak time (Starting around noon, or earlier, and after roughly 4 hours trip) Marcel came to me and tried to talk with me. It was very hard for me, but he was very patient and prepared. He asked about my trip, my intentions, and how am think about those things now. I tried to pull it together myself, but it was not really successful 🙂 He left me around 6 PM. Later I went to the park to walk, I did some exercises, I watched the sunset and did meditation. The next day, I went to the city, but on my way, suddenly I was enlightened again and started to cry. I cried almost for 1 hour, and the next day I cried more and more and laughed at the same time, and after that as well. Now I feel like a knight, I can see my goals, and I am ready to fight for them. The integration is still in process, but I know, I found a treasure.
